love and void and work

do not try to chase the love. i have committed a mistake which is to forget one , date other. when first crush rejected, i dated other , then the other girl has some issues , then third...and so on...but now i got it. its no longer there. accept this pain of loneliness and this void. the void has to be there...it will work as an anchor for me...acceptance this pain hurts but it got ease with time. this emotional stability i am getting feels like peace. now i am working towards and it just feels good. 

there was a constant search that went for much time , its the search of my better half. i tried to find the love, but never got so. the romantic love in my life is zero. whenever i met a person, i expect that this person will stop my quest but it ain't so. the expectation shatters as hell then it hurts and it is hurting a lot nowadays.

there is a scene in the rockstar movie , when the lead actor ranbir as jordan or better say janardhan was lying in his bath tub, watching his guitar burning and simultaneously it is raining in his bath tub and he got drenched in the rain. 

the pain he feels or which i am feeling will not vanish away in a moment. it also means that there are other aspect of life which i have to do as building my career. 

there is nothing that i can do so much to deal with this pain except accepting the pain and enjoying the other parts of life as friendships, close relations and family and my hobbies. this pain will not go away but it will surely bring rain to me. 

the chase of love is now ended and even this ending of this chase hurting a lot but you have to be emotionally stable to get other things in life. and this chase has to be ended slowly slowly , not a single snapshot. it does not explode, rather the chase will dissolve.

conclusively 

Rejections are pretty normal and love is part of life, not the entire life.

और भी दुख है जमाने में मोहब्बत के सिवा 

राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल की राहत के सिवा 

# note - valid till cse , this search would be continue after cse, but not so aggressively. 

# even love life without secure future is failure.

# don't jerk off while imagining her. do other things.

Even I crave for romance, love , sweet moments, sweet talks...and presence of someone in my life ..I want to giver her all of my love ..mi want to do many things for her ...but the only problem that she is not there ....and that's the void...but there is nothing I can do much .... except acceptance and waiting patiently for that person to come in my life .

Have patience in life. And hope that one day you will eventually get the one ...but that does not stop me from doing the other deeds and enjoying the other parts of life. this void becomes a part of your personality for some time and you can't do anything excepting the acceptance, you have to live with it for sometime. 

This can be captured exactly by the song Happy hour by talha anjum. in which he says, 

mein dunya se katt jane walon mein 

naraaz hokar bhi hum the manaane walon mein 

hum kyun take raahein aane waalon ki 

hum tak rahe kaafilein ab jaane walon ke...


sudhar nahi sakta mein , bas galtiyan sudharein ab 

wo chand tha mera, hum uske hain sitaare ab ...


mujhe kehne ki zaroorat nahi hain

main samndar waseeh, mujhe behne ki zarurat nahi hai....

even with this craving for love, the feeling of this void , work is not absent or ignored, there is too much importance of work. as one would why should we work despite all this :

1. money is important, not in its nature but due to its consequential form. that's why money inherently is null but due to its consequence, it matters

2. you have to prove something to the world that you are not just bluff. you are a man of words. you did something that you say. you walk the talk and not just preach sweet talks. there has to be some gravity and reality in your talks.

3. you try to make yourself happy by making others happy around around you, and those around you are your closed and loved ones. 

4. you get to know that love is part of life , and work is also part of life . its part of your identity. its like if one is mother , other one is father...you can't let any one falter you or abandon you or leaving the father while waiting for mother...you can't do such thing. 

5. and personally i puzzled too much due to life problems, and now i'm fine and if this work promise me a better and secure future, why not do it. i am not saying that there will be no problems , but with the help to work done i can have resources to deal with these problems in the future.

6. All the problems that I'm facing right now, majority will be solved if I get succeed in my work so till that time I would endure pain and would do the work.

7. You don't have to be dependent on other people in the future, that's why you have to work in present.

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