Mere kadhi chawal

Sometimes the thought that there is nothing in our control ... somehow calms me ..there is no free will. I don't know too much about it...but I want to believe it to be somehow... That there is no free will. All we are puppets. I guess that's why people associate themselves to god so much as it somehow loses th grip of control.  Neither I am confirming it ..not I can completely disregarding it.  I guess it's does not matter so much ...that's how I think I am agnostic. Despite knowing all this , I still chose to work ... because at least it gives me peace , not the regret of wasting time and atleast i try. For somethings , my actions do matter and I do them. living your life as if your actions matter, while accepting that the bigger picture might be out of your hands.

Mujhe ek desire hai ...desire hai wo...bahut high cravings ho rahi hai uski ....but wo aayegi nhi ... Toh ye desire dheere dheere time ke saath aise hi jayegi ...ki accha woh toh nhi aa raha h. Iska matlab ye desire chubana band kar degi ...ki jab wo complete ho hi nhi skti toh kya fayda ... Aur fir dimaag khud ko rewire aur neuroplasticity ki wajah se stable kar lega ...aur iss sab main time lagega . Ki angoor nhi mil rahe ...toh thik h ...kya farak padta hai ye sochne ..jab wo Milne hi nhi hai to  Kami rehti hai but wo itni chubti nhi hai...kyunki puri ho hi nhi skti  Aur iss tarah se usse accept kar raha hu  ... Otherwise kisi aur ko le aana uss void ko bharne ke liye is not a good option...koi nahi bhar payega abhi toh  Aur ye sochna ki sirf ussi insaan se bharega ye void ...toh it's pain talking to you .. Ab wo insaan toh chala gya lekin iss void ka main kya karu...main kaise bharu ... Toh ye baat dheere dheere bhar jayegi ki woh nhi aane wali ...aur iss tarah s...

sometimes i think that not every desire could be fulfilled at everytime.  you can't remove desire from human ...it's a necessary to thing for being human. as long as desire exist, the dukka or sadness exist.  the only thing to some desires that can't be fulfilled at that time ...is to accept  जब जब दर्द का बादल छाया  हमने दिल को ये समझाया  दिल तू क्यूँ रोता है  दुनिया में युहीन होता है  eg as there exist a sexual desire, you can't extinguish it apart from partner...or sometimes you can jerk off but there is nothing else except accepting the fact that some things out of your control always. the other source of dukka is comparison ... its not the emptiness that bothers you , rather its the fulfilment of others that puzzles you. you have to understand that you cant compare ...its not that way ...its not on same metrices... you have a different life ...and the answer to that why you have different life is not known...nobody known ...its just the way it is ...

: as exam approach , fear increase ...it's natural and normal ...accept it ...there is nothing inherently wrong with it  : what will others say if I fail  Don't buy their disappointment, because they really don't exist in my life ... Even if I succeed they will say something... Don't buy their even praise . They will say something, but they could not afford to make you eat and make you stay at their own expenses . : what will my friend and family members will say of I fail ... This one is actually important ...and this actually hits ... And somehow they will understand ...and if you think they don't know ... actually they don't want you to end as being poor  ..and even if you think they don't understand...then let me say this bluntly...it's your battle at the end ... And you are fighting on your own without wanting anything from them And the friends...who mocks you... believe me either they never done anything grand in life or simply need a chance to get...

Ab hum ishq ki tab baat karenge ...ya fir usse tab yaad karenge...yaa fir agle insaan ko bhi mauka denge ...Naya ishq ko dhundhenge ...jab apne goals ko paa lenge...kyunki mujhe devdas nhi banna hai

Have one female friend... Who is non romantic.. from your side..even at that level of she is alone in this world , you still can't marry her. And apart from her... everyone who tries to be friend me (offcourse girls), stay away from her ...because all you need then a partner. All those who think you as a good friend but can't think you as partner. Stay away from those ...because I get in love with everyone who comforts me. And have male friends...to talk about your stuff.