Mere kadhi chawal

  Zindagi ka uncomfortable truth shayad ye hai ki suffering se poori tarah bachna mushkil hai, chahe tum gareeb ho, ameer ho, India mein ho ya bahar. State, society aur duniya ki bahut si problems tumhare jeete ji poori tarah khatam nahi hongi. Lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki life meaningless hai. Grand, problem-free life shayad illusion ho; asli challenge ye hai ki imperfect duniya mein apni values, relationships, work aur freedom ke hisaab se ek aisi zindagi banao jo tumhe theek lage. Suffering optional nahi lagti, par kis cheez ke liye suffer karna hai, usmein kuch choice hoti hai. Thoda brutal hai. Thoda liberating bhi. Humans ko dono ek saath serve karna bahut pasand hai.

Q. in india, the system is so fucked up that i guess there is nothing that you can do in reality. and it been fucked up too much in too many ways as politically, environmentally , paper leak ho rahe, corruption , privacy, social and religious matter , casteism .. justice system is so fucked up... matsya form of justice hi bacha hai..as big fish eat small fishes , and small fish eat smaller fishes economically and by what not..it has rotten from inside .... stronger voice..change wange kuch nhi hota isse.. marxism, lenin and communism ..kisi se kuch nhi hone wala itne bade log aaye aur gaye..kisi se ghnata kuch nhi ukhda...i know i am soundng pessimistic but hey its true its always been same since independence there is a meme .. sabke ke sab chor hai saale.. .. there is a nazm by nida fazli about detachment as betalukki as yuhin jeete raho ... desh se bahar jaane ka tarika hai available like through ifs but usme main kuch dikkat hain 1. always bahar nhi honge 2. gh...

preparing for upsc cse while being in a job ... first fear is foremost seen by any other person is unable to study as much you wants.or just simply consumed by your job or laziness or any other attributes such as family, financial problems...and it is just not my illogical and irrational fear ..to quit preparation while doing job..so it implies my fear is not something that is out of nowhere...it could be a face of reality.. but but but...i have seen people who clear cse while being in a job..though the number is few...yet people are there.. and 2nd fear is ... not able to fully focus on one thing...not able to give full effort to one thing...but we can't actually are not build to give 100 percent just to one thing.. thats why i say..never chase anything..just flow...flow like a river..just focus on action and keep the future anticipated results out of your sights...  and thats how i deal with my fear .

क्या बनोगे तुम एक बुझती आग, या बनोगे तुम एक जलती राख, या बनोगे तुम एक पुरानी लाख? तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? क्या बनोगे तुम एक पहाड़, या बनोगे पत्थर का संसार, या बनोगे तुम एक अजीब सवाल? तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? क्या बनोगे तुम भी एक कही बात, या बनोगे तुम बेवक़्त याद, या बनोगे तुम अपने दिल की बात? तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? जो लोग बोलें वो बनोगे, जो दिल बोले वो बनोगे, बनोगे तुम फिर भी ग़ुलाम। तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? तुम बन जाना ग़ुलाम अली ग़ुलाम से, बन जाना मयख़ाना शराब से, बन जाना परिंदा ऊँचे आसमान से, बन जाना मायने अपने नाम से। तुम जो बनो रहेंगे खाली हाथ, तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? क्या बनोगे एक बहता सा दरिया, या बनोगे किसी दिल का ज़रिया, या बनोगे अपनी नज़र का नज़रिया? तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? तुम बन जाना जो रहे तुम्हारे पास, तुम बन जाना अपने सबसे ख़ास, तुम बन जाना एक पहेली का जवाब, जो पहेली गुज़रे ज़िंदगी के साथ। तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त? तुम बन जाना एक ज़िंदा इंसान, न बनना कभी मुर्दों की शान। जो भी बनोगे, ऐ शिनाख़्त, तुम रहोगे हमेशा मेरे साथ। तुम क्या बनोगे शिनाख़्त?       ...

ज़माने भर के ग़म या इक तिरा ग़म ये ग़म होगा तो कितने ग़म न होंगे ...

Competitive exams are tough ..and cse is tougher But it was fun .