Mere kadhi chawal

Too much ideal.

Whether your true love, whether your parents, whether your brothers and sisters , or your best friends or your enemies. Don't expect them to be complete Black or white ... As I always wanted unconditional love...but it's not possible...but that does not mean it automatically gives me abandonment issues...still people loves me , cares me . Life exist in grey... everything exist in grey.

ज़िंदगी में कभी भी बेशर्त प्यार नहीं मिलता, और जब इंसान कोई ये कमी महसूस होती है तो वो खुद को हमेशा अधूरा ही पाता है। इस मर्ज का कोई इलाज़ नहीं है, बस ये बात अपना ली जाए कि ज़िंदगी में ऐसा ही होता है, यही कटु सत्य है । क्या हम किसी को आज तक बेशर्त प्यार दे पाए हैं ? क्या हम किसी से खुलकर बात कर पाएं हैं ? इसलिए बातें करना बहुत ज़रूरी है । ये एक आदर्श बात है कि बेशर्त प्यार मिल जाए , पर फिर भी गहरा प्यार तो है ही, थोड़ा खुश रखने वाला प्यार तो है ही। खुद को अधूरा महसूस करने वाले जब शायरों से मिलते हैं तो खुद को थोड़ा सहज महसूस करते हैं । क्योंकि एक अधूरे को हमेशा दूसरा अधूरा ही समझ सकता है।  ख़ैर एक कविता लिखने की कोशिश की मैने इस बात पर । एक चाँद को पीछे छोड़ आया, अपने घर को ख़ुद ही तोड़ आया। रास्ते में मिला था एक बच्चा, उसके लिए मैं तारे तोड़ आया। एक मोहब्बत से क्या टूटे हम, हर दिल्लगी को पीछे छोड़ आया। रास्तों में अक्सर मिलते हैं चौराहे, मेरी ज़िंदगी में बस एक मोड़ आया। किन अपनों से कहूँ खुलकर अब मैं, दिल में ख़ामोशी का निचोड़ आया। अब क्या मतलब रहा ज़माने से, मैं गुल्लक से कुछ दोस...

i will not available readily , though i love you ....i will be there when you only needs me otherwise i will be distant. the only thing i can figure out is you never loved me unconditionally, you loved me because i could become one of your resource in your old age and there is nothing being wrong in that. but you never gave me what i lack and what i crave for, though you gave me many things and i am always indebted to you. its not your fault, but the only fault here is ignorance, though there is nothing that you can do.  that is my reason to create a safe distance from you.  the problem with me is that if i will be close to you as a resource, i can't able to figure out that this love which you will showering me is unconditional or out of your my resourcefulness.  the most difficult part here is lack of conversation , which i think could be addressed but my parents never cared about conversations , they care about my future. Though they can't loved me unconditionally, stil...

don't allow your past to ruin the present which is important for your bright future...because future is what do you do with the present. ... what about future?  future is what will i do today, not what i think today about future. .... But  what about future?  future is what will i do today, not what i think today about future. Never think about future...do what you want today ...and never seize the day...leave some things for the next day. now lets think about 2 possibilities of the exam  1. you ace the exam..everything good but it is still a momentarily happiness. 2. you lose the exam ...feels bad but still a momentarily sadness so the thing that actual matter is how you spend your days without even thinking or putting pressure of a single moment. thats why i say, enjoy the day as you want , never complete the day and live not for that one moment rather how you must live your life.... .... but log daatenge agar main fail ho gya to?  log taarif bhi karenge agar ...

 the title itself is very clear and i generally overthink on it , but at some time i answer it in my own words in my previous posts but i will give some responses  khud ko sambhalna sikha  abhi nhi dikhega yeh sab baatein but khud ko emotionally balanced banaya ...ye sab baatein zindagi main late kaam ayengei  kuch mentally tough exams le rahi thi life . 1st one  4 . time :  don't count time. don't measure it how many days it took me, why it took me more days or months or years . it quite subjective, its your pace of learning , understanding  and maturity. let go of past and comparisons with others. allow yourself to exist as you are and then try to do things as you want to. its okay to take such time. GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME . everything happens on a time which you sometimes can't control. you just have to wait patiently. 2nd one  क्या ख़ूब वक़्त बिगाड़ा है, ख़ुद को जो इस तरह सँवारा है। 3rd one  learning takes time. this was my teacher's words...