Current thoughts

TODAY , 17 NOV 

It will stay with me for a while.

It will gonna hurt me for a while.

I will be burning in that love of a girl.

Nobody understands me completely yet everyone understands me in someway or other.

I have no mood to share anything with anyone.

Padhai Karo...Mann hatakar 

And this trembling of legs will away as you would be stable as studying..and staying away from love.

I will be Jordan of Rockstar.

Watch some girls in market ...jerk off in bathroom without porn ...and watch insta for recreation.

Mera toh pyaar se Bharosa uth chuka hai.

I will not do arrange marriage at all ...I will do love marriage at any cost...OR can't able to marry at all.

Today ,18 nov. 

Kuch shauk develop kar liye hain ...jaise janmbhoomi jaakr subah chai peena 

Akele ghumne jaana ...shaam ko ekant mein 

Today ,19 nov.

Arrange marriage is quite privilege given by society to disable people who can't choose someone to spend life...

Either I will choose someone to spend my life or will not get this begging of marriage by society.

Today ,29 nov

Kisi se baat karne ka Mann nhi h ...bass kaam kru aur logon se door hojau..aur greatness achieve karu.

No mood to engage with people personally...just work and greatness.

And I chill with myself, stay happy with myself and best.

Paisa haath mein ho , sarr main nhi.

Today 21 nov

Woh bhi rare, main bhi rare...buss life main thoda emotional pause lo...love lust se pause...

Jab tak wo yaa uss jaisa koi nhi...tab tak pause.

And still enjoying life.

Uske alwa kisi k physical touch itna deep feel nhi hota 

Stay single...stay happy..pyaar se durr... enjoy life to fullest.

Today 22 nov

There are other ways to satisfy lust as jerking off in pvt .

Nothing to do to deal with lust to create problems as public one.

Just try to put focus study, other things will take care itself rightnow.

Today , 23 nov

Mujhe uske jaise koi nhi mil Raha...main apni zindagi khush hokar akele jee lunga ...better than false company.

Ab harr cheez dukh deti hai ...uski yaad jo dilaati hai ...but it will stay with me for a while.

Today , 27 nov 

Ab nhi dhundhta kisi ko main ...ab koi mujhe aakar hi dhudhega..

Usse kadra nhi meri mohabbat ki...bhaad main jaaye wo...koi aisi chahiye jo kadra kare mere emotions ki..

Ab koi mujhe aisi chahiye jo mujhe aise pyar kare jaise main chahta hun 

Today , 28 nov.

Chill raho...mind ko neutral rakho...shant raho for any worst or best outcome...be stoic somewhat.

Emotions and actions are 2 different entities.

Usne as a person kadra ki...usne as a lover kadra nhi ki....she accepted me as a good person but rejected as a lover...she wants to see sunrise...but not with me as whole life.

Today , 29 nov.

Chote seher ki dikkat bc .... Explore the world...better things still awaits 

Post nut clarity is much needed.

Today 30 nov.

Zamane ki maa chodni toh hai..Apna time laa kar Khud ko prove kar ke ...

Today, 1 dec 

Slow and steady... continuously study...and be real as much as possible...

Today ,2 dec 

Accept lust as it is. And it ain't go and will be there.

Ladki ...aur in general, 

logon se thoda duri .

sab se thoda door raho.

Today , 3 dec 

Sab kuch khud hi karna padega.

Love doesn't exist in this world.

Get busy in the life for study. 

today , 4 dec

don't count time while studying.

Today ,5 dec 

She has gone ...she is a thing of past ...and past lives in past ...not allowed to spoil future.

Patience rakh...sabra rakh...sab padhai ho jayegi...saare goals achieve ho jayenge ...dheere dheere... BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Today, 6 Dec 

Treat and think of yourself as very small ... Just a small creature...no big talks.

There is a sense of anxiety that prevails and it will prevail during this preparation...there is nothing that you can do except acceptance... accept that there will be anxiety till the selection.

Online Lectures are problems...change the way , not the destination.

Today ,7 dec 

Pareshan hona aur phir sulajh jana is the way... getting down and standing up is the way....no way is straight forward with roses.

Lust hona buri baat nhi hai...buri baat hai uska expression galat tarike se 

1 saal ka time hai kaam karne ke liye ...na ki pyaar ke liye ...1 saal dede kaam ke liye ..

Why do we fall .. to pick ourselves up.

Anxiety hona is very okay...jisse anxiety nhi ho rahi...wo abnormal hai.

She was fool with her emotions and my emotions too...aur chutiye logon se door raho.

I can't choose her as a life partner because she don't value my efforts for her. 

Aapka partner must value your efforts.

Bachpan se hi anxious about studies...ab aur kitna...life kab jiyega... mehnat toh karni hi hai no doubt...but without anxiety.

Today , 8 Dec 

Jab bhi koi starting ke time anxiety hit kare ...toh yaad karna charles bukowski ki post office ki starting ko...

You are a river...dariya ho tum.

Drink a lot of water please....

Mental problems are solved by use of brain ...like if you having anxiety or anything...use brain solve it...genius are smart person who solves everything... Or atleast are stable .

Leave Vanshika dheere dheere...dheere dheere usse dur kar. Aage se call karna khud ..ab band .

Sabse thodi halki si duri...bahut zaruri.

Not answering calls while library...only when emergency.

Today , 9 Dec 

Take small steps in isolation.. without thinking big.

Relax raho, aur padhai Karo.

Don't use insta or shorts ...watch movies or Netflix for recreation and relaxing.

Lust in movies or any thing...or any trigger for porn ...ignore it.

Ignore things.

I got failed in love... accept it .

Jhulash gya ishq se bhi.

Today ,10 Dec 

Work as you have to deal with insecurities.

Why would someone love you as you have so insecurities...so better work on them.

Today, 11 Dec 

Being physical with someone is very pitty, and easy...while being emotional with someone is really what I want and being physical with someone...is like doing self ...being physical with self as masturbation...no to physical thing with others without being emotional....and 

Being physical with self is best for my needs ...not I have to search others.

Being solo is so much chill.

Art heals me.

Today , 12 Dec 

No second thought after decision.

Today, 13 Dec 

If you want to see heaven, you have to die first.

Emotionally, wo chutiya hai.

Let nature took care of your love.

Usse yaad karne ke liye puri zindagi padi h , padhne ke liye sirf abhi 6 mahine hain.

Sab kuch jaye bhaad main...na kisi se baat karni na kuch karna ...bass chup chap abhi padhna hai

Sab chod de...sab apne aap thik ho jayega...like still water clean it's own dirt.

Today, 14 Dec 

I will make a best life for myself. Have a big ego to deal with breakup.

The game of chess ends when the king dies, not when the queen ...just like thomas shelby still carry the legacy of peaky blinders even when Grace dies....the only person who can kill Thomas Shelby is Thomas Shelby.

Mix writing with learning.

Women don't love.

Today , 15 Dec 

Peace ....finally..by knowing thyself

today, 16 Dec 

Kisi se Dil na lagao...aur ek baar lag jaye to todo mat.

Usse bhool Jaa, aur kaam se dil laga.

Today, Dec 19

Phone ek set time main chalna hai, aaram karna hai Bina phone ke aur bore hone ki aadat daalni hai.

Today , Dec 20 

Sitting and studying on desk is not an easy work .

Those who say , it is easy to just sit and study, the grass is always green on other side.

Today, 21 Dec 

Wo emotion wise chutiya hai...ab koi aisi chahiye jo mere pyaar ki kadra kare...mere emotion ki respect kare...jo revert back kare pyaar.

Just focus on study, everything will take care of itself.

Believe on cse, it will change things.

Today , 22Dec 

Becoming jack of all trades is my story.

Today, 23 Dec 

It's okay to watch porn and jerk off... without thinking about any other female in real life and don't indulge with too much time.

My life is exactly alright... nothing to change now except study as you are doing.

Vanshika se halki doori sahi.

Today , 7 jan 

Jab tak wo explicit na bolde...tab tak no imagination...no clue Guessing....no hints.....tab Tak nothing serious about her ..treat her like an acquaintance...that's it.

Today 8 jan

Women are not good for me...i mean they did bad to me

...due to some women, I'm kind of mysoginist.

today ,15 jan 

i am not good enough for her.

accept that you can't change any person. if she has to change , it has to be her own way, you  can't do anything about it.

main ye nhi keh raha ki i hate you or bhaad main jao, i just don't like the things you do...it's not your fault..it just how i unable to handle your things ..i don't want to change you , it just simply not  my way...so better to be part ways before it starts to hurt me alot...as i can't bear that pain ..nor you can change yourself. we are different.  

thats why having empathy and changing your way that hurts people is a sign of goodness. 

If somehow feel overwhelmed by phone, put it on aeroplane mode.

Today , 18 jan 

Agar kisi cheez ki bhukh hai , toh woh usse pakar hi puri hogi.

Today , 21 jan 

Apart from physical aspect, I am complete in myself.

I can't change person, i can only influence.

Today ,23 jan 

Distraction don't distract me anymore because my focus is on deadlines... remember don't count time by pratyush Pandey.

Today , 24 jan 

Woh mujhse pyar hi nhi karti....that's the fact, sad  and the end.

Today , 29 jan 

Ye pyaar vyaar nhi bana hai mere liye ...and that's sad.

Jab aayega pyar zindagi main tab dekhenge... bhagenge nhi pyar ke piche

Main hot nhi ban paunga ... isliye main cool banunga

Main loudly attractive nahi hun , but main subtle aur calmly attractive hun .

Today , 30 jan 

Bhaad main jaaye pyaar vyaar, fuck love .

work and stress are complimentary and having stress due to not completing the work is very normal , so the solution to stress is get the work done.

I'm leaving her because she doesn't love me back... And here is nothing I can do.

This chapter ends here...and new Chapter begins...

Uski yaad toh aayegi hi... don't try to her stop that thought . Accept it.

Today, 5 feb

Uski yaad ka kya , usse ab hum yaad hi nhi karte...rokar bhi kya faayda ...jab usse kuch matlab nhi hai...get over with her bro.

Today, 6 feb 

Main jisse pyaar karta hun woh mujhse pyaar nhi karti ...lekin koi aisa zaroor hai jo mujhse bahut jyada pyaar karti hogi.

Today, 7 feb

Sabra se kaam le bhai, padhai par dhyan de bhai...pyaar baad main bhi mil jayega.

Today, 27 march 

All of my female friends are fine, make my life bearable but still I need someone in my life as a romantic partner . But I can't anyone due to cse aftereffects