dear parents

i will not available readily , though i love you ....i will be there when you only needs me otherwise i will be distant.

the only thing i can figure out is you never loved me unconditionally, you loved me because i could become one of your resource in your old age and there is nothing being wrong in that.

but you never gave me what i lack and what i crave for, though you gave me many things and i am always indebted to you.

its not your fault, but the only fault here is ignorance, though there is nothing that you can do. 

that is my reason to create a safe distance from you. 

the problem with me is that if i will be close to you as a resource, i can't able to figure out that this love which you will showering me is unconditional or out of your my resourcefulness. 

the most difficult part here is lack of conversation , which i think could be addressed but my parents never cared about conversations , they care about my future.

Though they can't loved me unconditionally, still they love me ...quite generous .. little caring and their little selfishness.

They lie in grey area for me , though the thi gs that hurts is that I think about them as white.

i want to be loved unconditional, which i guess will never be completed ...and thats why i am still a half...and thats why i need poets ...as two halves a makes a whole. 


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