preparing for cse

I'm 23 and getting older day by day...I have to do something to earn .

I have to do it... despite not attaching with it too much.

You can save some time for yourself in the day for doing what you like ...as writing blogs, poetries and doing what you want to do in the day.

I don't like it ...i don't like to prepare for upsc cse...but i can tolerate it .

it's not a matter of liking it anymore.

no emotional attachment to upsc cse .

Selling my soul to devil.

It's totally crap.... these all study...i like to learn and study but not these subjects ... लेकिन मजबूरी में गधे को बाप बनाना पड़ता है।

There is nothing that I can do about it right now accept it...just accept the situation.

It feel worse in starting but will get better overtime. And do it eventually.. slowly slowly. Progressively...not to win on 1st day...rather win on that exam day. not so perfect, but still fighting.

work in small , bring changes while studying and dont be guilty for it, there is limit of what you can do.

issi ko mehnat kehte hain...work hard ... doing sometimes what you don't want to do.

If I want the future that exists in my head, i have to work really hard , no matter how awesome I was in the past.

That means:

  • Stop waiting to “feel motivated.” You won’t.

  • Stop romanticizing toppers. Different brains, different wiring.

  • Treat it like a job you don’t love but tolerate.
    Small tasks. Mechanical. No emotional expectations.


Now the part people don’t like hearing:

If your resistance keeps getting stronger, not quieter, even after simplifying, that’s a warning sign. Not drama. Not weakness. A signal. Sustainable things don’t require daily self-betrayal.

There’s a difference between:

  • “I don’t enjoy this but I can live with it”

  • “Every cell in me is dragging its feet and I feel smaller each month”

The first is adult compromise. The second is slow erosion.

Also, sustainability depends on time horizon.
Doing this for 6 to 12 months as an experiment? Possible.
Doing it for 4 to 6 years while hating the process? That breaks people in subtle ways. They pass exams and still feel lost, which is a cruel joke.


Also worth noting: many people who clear UPSC did not love the process either. The difference is they wanted the outcome badly enough to tolerate the process. Wanting knowledge alone is not the same fuel.

Not need to become topper...just clear this and move on...

Let go expectations of upsc cse.


Study as you flow like water and stillness...with peace.


Let go of old conventional methods and conventional expectations of upsc cse.


Aur aise hona hoga toh hoga...main aisa hi hoon...cse nhi hoga aise toh naa sahi...cse apna attitude rakh le ..main apna rakh lunga. Atleast I got myself ...khud ko kho ke cse paa bhi liya toh kya faayda

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