you are good bro

I'm not writing today to correct myself, nor am I complaining about myself. Today, I experimented a lot. I approached people, asked women out, and put myself in situations I usually wouldn't. And honestly, I'm not disappointed. Instead, I learned a few things about myself and how the world works.

The first thing I realised is that I crave sexual experiences. I don't know whether it's testosterone or something else, but I often find myself looking for women, craving sexual pleasure and wanting to experience intimacy. Sometimes, I tell myself not to watch too much porn. Other times, I think about masturbating without porn. But the desire keeps coming back, and I'm trying to understand where it comes from and what I'm actually looking for.

The second thing I realised is that finding a girlfriend requires more than simply approaching someone you find attractive. It requires a social environment where you can meet people regularly, interact with them, and gradually build a connection. It could be school, tuition, a library, a hobby group, or any place where you naturally encounter the same people over time.

Cold approaches don't seem to work very well for me. You see a girl, find her attractive, walk up to her, and ask her out. But attraction alone isn't enough to establish a connection. You're practically strangers, and there's little familiarity or shared context between you. It can work, but it doesn't seem like a reliable way to build a relationship.

Then I started thinking about why I don't have a girlfriend. Maybe it's because I spend most of my time living inside my own little cave. I study at home, go to the market to meet a few male friends, and return to my usual routine. My daily life doesn't give me many opportunities to meet women, let alone develop a connection with someone.

And Instagram doesn't seem like a reliable solution either. Randomly messaging a girl you've never met and expecting something meaningful to happen isn't exactly a great strategy. Without any shared context or mutual connection, it's difficult to get things started.

Maybe the problem isn't that I'm incapable of finding a girlfriend. Maybe I'm simply not putting myself in environments where relationships have a chance to develop naturally.

The third thing I realised is that I'm actually quite good at talking to women. I don't think I'm bad with them. Many girls talk to me, and I can hold conversations with them. So, at least from my experience, interacting with women isn't necessarily the problem.

Perhaps I need to stop treating the absence of a girlfriend as evidence that something is wrong with me and start looking at the circumstances of my life more objectively.

I don't have everything figured out yet, but that's fine. Today wasn't about correcting myself or finding faults in my personality. It was about experimenting, observing, and learning something new.

And I think I did.