Mere kadhi chawal

Don't open up yourself to anyone who don't know you completely. Like if you just know a person, don't spill all the beans to him.. Share to your closed ones... It's like protecting your vulnerability. हर किसी से नहीं करता अपनी बातें  हर अपना नहीं होता गले लगाने वाला  ... Open up gradually. Let people prove they can hold smaller truths before you hand them the heavier ones. Watch consistency, not charm. Someone can feel safe in the moment and still be unreliable over time. Humans are excellent at temporary performances. Protecting your vulnerability is not “being closed off.” It’s having boundaries. There’s a difference. One is fear; the other is discernment. Share deeply with people who have shown loyalty, empathy, and discretion. The ones who don’t make your honesty feel expensive afterward. Not everyone deserves the full map of your inner world. Some people barely qualify for the lobby. Grim architecture, but efficient.

So it's that time of the year ...garmi again.. And the sleep schedule...is very important to carry on the studies... And again the sleep schedule is fucked up... So what to do .. 1.Maintain a strict sleep schedule...you know you gonna miss some days but it's okay.. 2.Try to take quality sleep in night by all means...go to your other house to sleep... Because if you can't sleep properly in night ...forget the following day to be productive. 3. If somehow you miss to sleep...once in a time.. Make nap your weapon of strength... Avoid phone by all means ..just set a 1 hr alarm and relax.. 4. Don't force yourself to sleep..just be relax  And one important correction: Do not “catch up” by sleeping till noon. That feels good short-term and wrecks the next night. Wake up, take the damage, maybe nap, and reset.

Sleep cycle fucked up hui.. Nap par depend raho.. 1 ghanta ...phone alarm... Otherwise no phone And that's it . Koi topper ka schedule copy mat kar... Tujhse jitna ho paaye ..utna padh  ... I know tune apna schedule bana rakha hai.. Usko bhi itna serious mat kr garmi m ... Uske hissab se kaam kr...utna nhi ho pa raha koi nhi..chill.. Bass karta reh...continuity is the boss ... 10 ghante zombie mode = 30% retention vs 4 ghante sharp mode = 75% retention  .. Bad sleep ke baad brain apni capacity ko underestimate karta hai. Tumhe lagega “aaj kuch hoga hi nahi”, par once you start, often 60–70% output aa hi jata hai.

You don't have to fight your halaat ..to change them according to anyone else... Rather you have to fight your halaat...to be your best version.. You don't have to fight for :  Copying others halaat Copying other circumstances  Copying others output ... You have a unique way of yourself...you have to become your best version...not anyone else .. Like you don't have to mirror toppers schedules, or life choices or anything else .. You have to fight your halaat to be in line with you...not the toppers... And may be in all of this...you are not capable of upsc cse topper Right now....but eventually you will become cse topperbut maybe you will become something else first as pcs or other exam passed student but for all of that you have to become yourself first. “मंज़िल से पहले खुद को पाना ज़रूरी है, वरना जीत भी मिल जाए तो लगेगी किसी और की।” And I think you will become amazing as you will have that own self confidence. You will become a remembered one. "हम भी दरिया हैं हमें अ...

लाइट ये क्यूं रात भर नहीं आती  ठंडक कहीं भी नज़र नहीं आती  आती थी पहले गर्मियों में नींद  अब बिना AC के रत्ती भर नहीं आती आती थी अफ्रीका के लोगों पर हंसी अब अपनी भी हालत पर नहीं आती है ऐसी गर्मी कि जग रहा हूं वरना  जागने की हिम्मत दिन भर नहीं आती  बिजलीवालों से चिढ़ है कुछ इस कदर  नाम पर बची गाली नज़र नहीं आती आजकल ऐसी जगह जाना चाहता हूं  जहां से गर्मी की कोई खबर नहीं आती  हमेशा बिजली की उम्मीद में बैठा रहता हूँ  खबर आती है, बिजली मगर नहीं आती  बिजली के नाम पर वोट मांगेगा दोबारा  मेरी तरह शर्म उसको भी मगर नहीं आती –शिनाख्त 

If you got bored with study ..which I usually do and this is natural with such a long term goal.... .so what to do ? Change the subject, method or anything with respect to study...revise...read or watch videos...do everything that you want wrt study that makes you learned  Try slowly slowly to study...even if there is iota of will left to study.. And when there is nothing you want to study ...and it is more common than you think... Then you can do  Call / meet someone whom you genuinely want. Don't connect just because you are bored .. connect because you want. . Avoid phone at all Sit with that silence ...that nothingness and just do nothing... And when the curiousity awake once again..., the flow start once again  ..study  Hard study → Easy study → Revision → Passive learning → Rest 🔜 return to hard study..

There will be problems till you are alive... They will change itself by size, shape or any means. Tab tak jiyoge , tab tak dikkatein rahengi...varna better to be dead...lol That's why don't take problems as haaye tauba.